Wet Hot American Roof

Earnings call quote-of-the-week comes from WARNER CEO ROBERT KYNCL, who argued Tuesday that a stream of an ED SHEERAN song should be worth more in royalties than "a stream of rain falling on the roof.” Not because ionian mediental narrative chord progressions on guitar are intrinsically worth more than the percussive sound of water on asphalt—an argument that would open an ambient can of worms—but because Sheeran is a more popular artist, with a better brand, than the presumably generic wet roof balladeer and therefore provides more value to any streaming service where his music appears. This seems to be the year where the music industry has decided there has to be a better way for tech companies to pay its stars and it’s time to finally make it happen. Some of the ideas are more novel than others.

On a call where his company was reporting a second straight quarter of meh results (with music publishing a bright spot), Kyncl compared Sheeran to LEBRON JAMES, who “earns more money than some of his teammates—[and] not because he plays more hours per day.” Which is obviously true. But superstars like LeBron don’t necessarily get paid more per point (or per run or goal); rather, they can negotiate a fatter weekly paycheck than everybody else because they produce more points. Pop superstars like Sheeran automatically get more money by scoring a lot of streaming points, no negotiations needed. Do they really need an accelerant, too, that would get them more pennies per play?

Like his peers at UMG and elsewhere, Kyncl also has had lots to say about AI musicmakers, and he wouldn’t be the first label boss to suggest, not unreasonably (but also can-of-wormsily), that human musicians deserve a higher royalty than robot musicians. But that wasn’t where he was going on this particular day. Rather, with the sports superstar analogy, he was suggesting music’s A-list deserves higher streaming royalties than music’s B- and C-lists. Which seems weird. *Everyone* making music deserves more money, no argument there. But are Sheeran and his pop-star peers the ones who need it the most right now? Or is it the artists one or two levels of stardom down who are struggling to pay for health insurance, or for gas to get to the next gig, with the slivers of pennies they’re getting from streaming services? Should it be artist v. artist, or all artists v. the tech platforms? What’s the better look? Which one’s going to get the more equitable result? Which one’s going to affect more artists at any given label? Can LeBron and the LAKERS finish the WARRIORS? Questions for a rainy day on a leaky roof.

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