Hey EDDIE, can you lend me a few thousand bucks and tonight can you get us a ride to the WALTER KERR THEATER? That's where SPRINGSTEEN ON BROADWAY officially opens today in front of the least influential cast of theater critics in Broadway history. The show's entire run is sold out, and if the BOSS extends it beyond February, which he has floated as a possibility, those shows will sell out instantly, too, even if the NEW YORK TIMES, DAILY NEWS and ASBURY PARK PRESS all deem it the biggest dud since SPIDER-MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK. Kind of takes the pressure off everybody, I would think. He'll read from his memoir, tell some additional stories, play some familiar songs, duet a bit with PATTI SCIALFA, and repeat five days a week until February. Or maybe he'll decide to tack on a GREETINGS FROM ASBURY PARK, N.J. full-album show at the end of the night, or call in his band halfway into the run and do MTV PLUGGED all over again, he's the Boss, he can do whatever he wants. (Except win a TONY, which may prove to be trickier than you'd think.) Many rock and pop stars have come to the Great White Way before him, some with jukebox musicals, some with adaptations of their albums, some with proper Broadway musicals with original books and lyrics and all that. With varying success. MusicSET: "Rocking and Rolling on Broadway, From Green Day to U2 to Springsteen"... My all-time favorite rock experiences on Broadway, with the stipulations that I have never seen HEDWIG on a stage and I didn't think RENT was a) rock or b) good: STEW and HEIDI RODEWALD's PASSING STRANGE, which seamlessly split the difference between rock, gospel and theatrical songwriting (and which had the bad luck of being up against LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA's IN THE HEIGHTS for Best Musical, guess who won). DUNCAN SHEIK's SPRING AWAKENING, which imagined 19th century German schoolchildren singing punk-pop and made it sound as natural as ALEXANDER HAMILTON rapping. And JOHN DOYLE's high-concept 2005 revival of STEPHEN SONDHEIM's SWEENEY TODD, with a rock-star turn by MICHAEL CERVERIS (and PATTI LUPONE on tuba)... As of early this morning, PRESIDENT TRUMP hadn't tweeted a word about EMINEM. Someone should check to make sure he's OK. A few smart takes on Eminem's Tuesday night freestyle: SPIN's JEREMY GORDON didn't like the rapping, did like the intention but thinks it "sucks" that it took Eminem to draw attention to an argument that artists like KENDRICK LAMAR and MACKLEMORE have been regularly making. PITCHFORK's MATTHEW ISMAEL RUIZ liked the rapping more and took the performance as a good example of "Eminem wielding his privilege as a weapon." Is your privilege the best way to attack someone else's privilege? Discuss. TOURÉ takes that argument further, seeing a showdown between two different brands of whiteness, both expert in dividing audiences. He also sees a clear winner. Me, too. A major cultural moment... BILLBOARD's Arena Power Players... Of all the people posting incendiary viral controversial content on FACEBOOK, LIL B THE BASED GOD is the one Facebook thinks it needs to block? Hmmm.