"It's not who I am." "I definitely learned from this." "Whether it was extortion, or whether it was a robbery, like, I can't, I can't, I'm not equipped to, like, tell you this." Those are three of the new lies RYAN LOCHTE tossed onto the flaming pile of B.S. he has been spinning since he and his teammates weren't robbed in RIO last week, this time via an interview with NBC's MATT LAUER in which he was purportedly apologizing for his previous string of lies. (And all credit to LAUER for refusing to throw LOCHTE a rope as he stammered helplessly through that last one, simultaneously searching for both syntax and some sort of salvation.) There were so many inspiring stories in the OLYMPIC pool, from an AFRICAN-AMERICAN swimming champion to a new CHINESE feminist hero to SINGAPORE's first-ever gold medalist, who reached the top of the podium by beating his AMERICAN idol. But it's LOCHTE that we're still talking about, living proof that you can ban doping from the OLYMPICS but you can't ban dopes. But you can, if you are NBC or any other form of media, ban him from your airwaves, at least for a while, because he has nothing useful, truthful or apologetic to say... Did everything in this OLYMPICS happen in the water or did it just seem that way?... UFC 202: The first honest-to-god fight of the century, of this century?... Just another journalist whose hours were doubled as a reward for doing a good job. No news here... BRAZIL gets the one medal it really really wanted. Needed even... Greatest OLYMPIC protest ever... That's how you finish your last OLYMPIC marathon... OLYMPIC golf saves itself... RIO in pictures.