A Ranking of the Best F-words in ‘Succession’ History

As we approach the fourth and final season of Succession, The Ringer hereby dubs today “F-Word Friday,” a celebration and breakdown of the show’s astonishingly crass and creative cursing. Enjoy, and fuck off.

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The first line in Succession history, as Logan Roy stumbles through the dark toward his bathroom, is “Where am I? Where the fuck am I?” A few minutes later, his son Kendall kicks off a high-stakes acquisition meeting by asking, “Are we ready to fuck or what?”

Those two moments are foreboding for both characters in different ways, but they’re also early indications of the foulmouthed lexicon that Succession would revel in for three seasons and counting. Over the course of 29 episodes, Succession has made an art out of saying the word “fuck.” The variations are aplenty, full of proper-noun interpolations and creative twists of the tongue. The deliveries have been sharp as a knife and carefully calibrated to maximize emphasis. There are times when an f-word on Succession cuts so deep that you fear its recipient might bleed out, and other times when its usage is so inappropriate or absurd that you can’t even imagine how the actor was able to get the line out without breaking—and then there are all the times when Logan just tells someone to fuck off. Succession has made the f-word its mascot—nay, its MVP. Line to line, it is one of the best-written television shows ever made, and it’s earned that distinction with the vocabulary of a very drunk, very innovative sailor.

As we approach the final season of Succession, there seems to be no better way to honor the show than with a celebration of its favorite word. What you are about to read is a ranking of the best uses of “fuck” in Succession history. The lines were judged in a variety of ways, as there’s no one single path to “fuck” genius. In some cases, an f-word-laden line in Succession is legendary because of its place in the narrative, the way it landed to hammer home a devastating or momentous plot point. In other cases, the “fuck” stands out because of what it reveals about its user or recipient. Most of the time, though, the f-word usage is just so inventive, or so Shakespearean, or so spit-takingly hilarious. More than 500 fuck lines were considered—Succession deploys the f-word a lot, trust us—and in the end, these 100 lines were determined to be the greatest uses of the f-word in the show’s run. At least so far—there’s no doubt that new contenders will rise over the next 10 episodes. But until we meet that new fuckery, here are the lines that have already made fucking history.

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100. “Meeting over. Fuck off.” —Logan Roy (Season 1, Episode 5)

99. “Is he nice? You’re asking about the moral character of a man named Rat-fucker Sam? He’s a fucking piece of fucking shit, is what he is.” —Tom to Cousin Greg (Season 2, Episode 3)

98. “No, thank you for that lesson, Professor Can’t Fuck.” —Tabitha Hayes to Roman Roy, after he explains that it’s “boner arithmetic” that if they “politely agree on a wrong thing, then it’s no longer wrong” (Season 2, Episode 5)

97. “Uh-huh, fuck you too, you pusillanimous piece of fucking fool’s gold, fucking silver-spoon fucking … asshole.” —Stewy Hosseini to Kendall Roy (Season 2, Episode 1)

96. “Hey, listen, you have a good time too, yeah? Like everyone—servers, fucking, the Imagineers, the DJ crew. You know, this is highly egalitarian. Like, do your job, but fucking get your drink on.” —Kendall on FaceTime with his employee Comfry Pellits, before his 40th birthday (Season 3, Episode 7)

95. “Wouldn’t it be nice to just wake up in the morning and … not feel like a fucking piece of shit?” —Shiv Roy to Nate Sofrelli, before they start having an affair (Season 1, Episode 6)

94. “I will give you $1 million, cash, for a home fucking run.” —Roman to the son of a groundskeeper, during the Roys’ annual family softball game (Season 1, Episode 1)

93. “I mean, fuck it, right? Just fucking go nut-nut.” —Kendall to his girlfriend Naomi Pierce, on performing Billy Joel’s “Honesty” while nailed to a cross at his own birthday party (Season 3, Episode 7)

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92. “I think I’ve contextualized it. … I just like, OK, you know, if I’m the king and you’re the queen, maybe it’s fine to … fuck the odd peasant.” —Tom Wambsgans to Shiv, on their open marriage (Season 2, Episode 2)

91. “I would fight so fucking hard for this family, Pop.” —Connor Roy to Logan, on if he were chosen to be president of the United States (Season 3, Episode 6)

90. “Call Noah and get me some jokes. Not jokes. Like, funny as fuck shit, but not in a stupid, jokey way.” —Kendall to his PR team, before he goes on a late-night talk show that’s been ruthlessly making fun of him for days (Season 3, Episode 3)

89. “This is why you don’t hatch a plan with Connor, the first fucking pancake.” —Shiv to her siblings, after Connor says he’s starting to like Rhea Jarell (Season 2, Episode 8)

88. “How about terror? Like, actual terror. Like a VR experience, but like, ‘I’m actually gonna fucking die.’ Like war.” —Roman’s pitch for an amusement park ride during management training (Season 2, Episode 4)

87. “I do [like it], I do. I just don’t know what the fuck it is.” —Logan, after Connor gives him sourdough starter as a birthday gift (Season 1, Episode 1)

86. “Honestly, honey, it’s like this 900-pound gorilla has finally stopped fucking me.” —Tom to Shiv, after he’s disposed of documents related to the Brightstar Cruise Lines scandal (Season 1, Episode 6)

85. “Is this a fucking bear hug?” —Logan to Kendall, after Kendall delivers a letter detailing plans for a hostile takeover of Waystar Royco (Season 1, Episode 10)

84. “Look, I don’t want to be given the runaround by Dr. Fucking SUNY–Purchase Medical School here.” —Kendall to his siblings, on whether their dad is receiving the best medical care (Season 1, Episode 2)

83. “I can translate. That’s Frank for ‘We’re fucked.’” —Karl Muller, after Frank Vernon says that Waystar is currently “unusually subject to the vicissitudes of public opinion”(Season 2, Episode 9)

82. “I’m sorry, Nate, did you want a conference call to discuss how to tell your wife we fucked?” —Shiv to Nate (Season 2, Episode 2)

81. “You know, one waiter down, that makes sense. It took me forever to get a fucking drink at her wedding.” —Roman to Kendall, trying to be supportive after Kendall tells him and Shiv about the accident that killed a waiter at Shiv’s wedding (Season 3, Episode 9)

80. “Yes, Shiv. Fuck Congress. Have I shocked you?” —Roman to Shiv, after Shiv sounds shocked that Roman’s response to a call for congressional hearings on Waystar was “Fuck Congress” (Season 2, Episode 9)

79. “I think the headline needs to be ‘Fuck the weather, we’re changing the cultural climate.’” —a post–press conference Kendall, interrupting his new PR team’s strategy presentation (Season 3, Episode 1)

78. “Big fans of what you guys do. Fucking sweet chili sauce.” —Kendall as a venture capitalist, to the team that makes an app called Dust (Season 1, Episode 8)

77. “You’re fucking imperial right now.” —Kendall, backstage, to a rapper (Season 1, Episode 6)

76. “I was fucking king of the Lampoon. Kicked their distribution into shape.” —Kendall, insisting that he’s funny (Season 1, Episode 4)

75. “I will be nice to Kurt Cobain of the fucking floaties.” —Roman, after Kendall nearly drowns in a pool in Italy (Season 3, Episode 9)

74. “Oh, very much the fuck. Very much the fuck indeed.” —Roman to Shiv, when she responds to Logan proposing family therapy by asking, “What the fuck?” (Season 1, Episode 7)

73. “‘Anus’? At breakfast? That’s a fucking juice-dropper.” —ATN executive producer Eva, speaking with another producer on how to appropriately phrase the news that a politician’s husband posted a photo of his butthole on social media (Season 1, Episode 4)

72. “OK, I get it. But if you don’t allow it, I’m gonna punch Tom in the face, and I’m gonna rip my shirt open. I’m gonna take a fucking dump on the ground. I’m gonna go apeshit because she’s the woman I love.” —Connor to Shiv, on his call girl girlfriend Willa Ferreyra being allowed in Shiv’s wedding photos (Season 1, Episode 10)

71. “That’s about as choreographed as a dog getting fucked on roller skates.” —Logan, on the botched approach to the Pierce family (Season 2, Episode 3)

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70. “Who made you the Wizard of Fuck?” —Shiv to Roman, after he says that “all will be revealed” in regard to Logan’s meeting with Lukas Matsson (Season 3, Episode 9)

69. “Senate, FBI, SEC, class actions. Plus Sandy and Stewy? I mean, this is a 12-foot sub of poisonous tree frogs. This is the full Baskin-Robbins 31 flavors of fuck right there.” —Karl to Frank, on Waystar’s state of affairs (Season 3, Episode 1)

68. “Meh meh meh fucking meh. … Take it like a fucking man. You’re out. You’re fucked. You tried to kill me, but you failed. And you’re dead. Now fuck off!” —Logan to Frank, after the vote of no confidence against Logan fails (Season 1, Episode 6)

67. “Honestly, this is from my readings, and sadly you can’t say this because the permitted public debate has shrunk to the size of a fucking nut, but, frankly, usury and onanism.” —Connor to Roman, on his presidential platform (Season 1, Episode 10)

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66. “You bust in here, guns in hand, and now you find they’ve turned to fucking sausages.” —Logan to Kendall, Roman, and Shiv, after he thwarts their plan to take him down (Season 3, Episode 9)

65. “I did my best. And whenever you fucked up, I cleaned up your shit. And I’m a bad person? Fuck off, kiddo.” —Logan to Kendall (Season 3, Episode 8)

64. “I’m not saying it’s going to be the full Third Reich, but I am genuinely concerned that we could slide into a … into a Russian Berlusconied Brazilian fuck pie.” —Shiv to Logan and Roman, on supporting the far-right Jeryd Mencken as the Republican nominee for president (Season 3, Episode 6)

63. “Yeah, I think I know one: Representative Ferdinand D. Who-Gives-a-Shit from the great state of No-One-Fucking-Cares.” —Connor to Maxim Pierce, when he asks whether Connor can name one member of the House Commerce Committee (Season 2, Episode 5)

62. “Jeepers fucking creepers, what a shit piñata.” —Tom to Shiv, on dinner with the Pierce family (Season 2, Episode 5)

61. “Fuck the patriarchy!” —Kendall, on a red carpet (Season 3, Episode 3)

60. “Excuse me, folks, could I maybe interest you all in going for one of those fucking IPAs that looks like runoff at the car wash?” —Roman to Vaulter staff writers (Season 2, Episode 2)

59. “You know how you’re so efficient and good at your job? But also sort of, like, invisible? Like wallpaper, like a … boring old sort of nothing. Like a competent kind of clever filing cabinet that everyone seems content to have around? And I’m like a fucking rock star moron?” —Roman to Gerri Kellman, pitching an alliance (Season 2, Episode 6)

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58. “Hey. So, you fucked me.” —Kendall to Logan after Logan announces he’s not stepping down as CEO of Waystar (Season 1, Episode 1)

57. “It’s your wedding—why do I feel like I’m about to get fucked?” —Gerri to Shiv, before Shiv blackmails her on the cruise scandal (Season 1, Episode 9)

56. “I fucking love pussy. You see my mom’s?” —Roman to Matsson, on the birth canal entrance to Kendall’s birthday party (Season 3, Episode 7)

55. “You’re as fungible as fuck.” —Logan to Rhea, after she quits as CEO of Waystar (Season 2, Episode 9)

54. “You’re a sick fuck. You’re a sick fucking animal.” —Gerri to Roman, satisfying Roman’s kink while he masturbates behind her bathroom door (Season 2, Episode 5)

53. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but it sounds fucking slick, dude. Slicker than cum on a dolphin’s back.” —Roman to Eduard Asgarov, on Asgarov’s plan to buy and flip a Scottish soccer team (Season 2, Episode 8)

52. “We’re on saliva and adrenaline here until we get on a plane. All right? No local foods. I get the shits, we’re fucked.” —Logan to his team, planning a response to Kendall’s press conference (Season 3, Episode 1)

51. “The service here is weird and slow … and fucking my dad.” —Roman, poolside in Italy, on Logan’s assistant Kerry Castellabate (Season 3, Episode 9)

50. “Yeah, these are the ones who don’t fuck off.” —Gerri to Logan, on the FBI agents raiding Waystar (Season 3, Episode 3)

49. “Dude, I was only trying to be nice. That was a fucking shit show and you handled it like a moron, is the truth.” —Roman to Kendall, on Kendall’s call with Waystar’s lenders (Season 1, Episode 3)

48. “Fuck Greenpeace!” —random person, while carrying Cousin Greg, who is suing Greenpeace, on his shoulders (Season 3, Episode 6)

47. “We just walked in on Mom and Dad fucking us.” —Shiv to Kendall and Roman, on their mother reopening her divorce agreement with Logan to excise the siblings’ veto power (Season 3, Episode 9)

46. “It’s war! Fuck off!” —Logan, after Frank asks about cooperating with the authorities after Kendall’s press conference (Season 3, Episode 1)

45. “Fuck you, plastic Jesus.” —Shiv to a post–press conference Kendall (Season 3, Episode 2)

44. “Business is my fucking.” —Kendall, at Tom’s bachelor party (Season 1, Episode 8)

43. “Hey, Shiv? Fuck off.” —Tom to Shiv when she joins Roman in making fun of Tom (Season 2, Episode 2)

42. “Look, here’s the thing about being rich, OK? It’s fucking great.” —Tom to Greg (Season 1, Episode 6)

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41. “You … are … a fuh … fucking idiot.” —Logan to Kendall, after Kendall saves the company from collapse (Season 1, Episode 3)

40. “What’s up, prick licks? It’s me, Dr. Moron. I’m a ding-dong, doodlebug dipshit with a titmouse dick, and my dad hates all of you. Fucky-go-bye-bye … how was that?” —Roman recording a message for his dad’s “50 years in media” tribute, after a sound engineer asks whether he wants to do a take in which he really “sells” how he’s feeling (Season 2, Episode 8)

39. “[Tell him] that I’m gonna grind his fucking bones to make my bread.” —Logan to Jess Jordan, after Kendall’s press conference (Season 3, Episode 1)

38. “I thought that would’ve kinda been your dream, Rome. Me fucking Gerri with your dick.” —Shiv to Roman, after Shiv tried to use Roman’s dick pic—which was meant for Gerri but sent to Logan—as an opportunity to force Gerri out of Waystar (Season 3, Episode 9)

37. “People like me. I look like a matador, and everyone wants to fuck me.” —Roman (Season 1, Episode 6)

36. “Nice service, right? Pity it wasn’t Catholic, but there you go. Fucking all those kids hurt the brand.” —Logan to Kendall, on Shiv’s wedding and the Catholic Church (Season 1, Episode 10)

35. “Make your own fucking pile.” —Logan to Kendall when he asks what they’re supposed to do if he lets GoJo acquire Waystar (Season 3, Episode 9)

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34. “The fucking Hercule Poirot of fucking piss over here.” —Roman to Tom, after Tom says he thinks Logan’s been experiencing dementia from an untreated UTI for “quite some time” (Season 3, Episode 5)

33. “You love showing your pee-pee to everyone, but someday, you know, you’re actually gonna have to fuck something.” —Shiv to Roman (Season 3, Episode 2)

32. “This guy, fucking dildo dipped in beard trimmings.” —Roman, on Stewy (Season 2, Episode 2)

31. “So, are we ready to fuck or what?” —Kendall, before negotiations with Vaulter (Season 1, Episode 1)

30. “Oh, Greg, fuck your grandpa.” —Tom to Greg, while Greg’s on speakerphone, in a car, with his grandpa (Season 1, Episode 5)

29. “What … the fuck? Seriously?” —Shiv’s response to Tom’s marriage proposal (Season 1, Episode 2)

28. “Would you like to hear my favorite passage from Shakespeare? Take the fucking money.” —Logan to Nan Pierce, on Waystar’s offer to buy Pierce Global Media (Season 2, Episode 5)

27. “Sue me. Good luck. My lawyer used to work for the Justice Department. Who’s your lawyer? Mr. Fucking Magoo?” —Logan, in a dispute with his contractor (Season 2, Episode 1)

26. “On our wedding night? Bang! Shanghaied into a, into a … open borders, free-fuck trade deal.” —Tom to Shiv, on her asking for an open marriage (Season 2, Episode 10)

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25. “How much is a gallon of milk? I don’t know. I mean, who the fuck knows, Dad? Literally no one knows.” —Roman to Logan (Season 2, Episode 3)

24. “Obviously, our public line will be that we are considering the offer, but it doesn’t matter what you offer. He’ll never recommend this to the board. You’re gonna bleed cash. He’s gonna bleed cash. It will never end. And maybe you’ll kill him, but if you don’t, he aims to kill you. He will go bankrupt or go to jail before he lets you beat him. He will kill you on the business, and if that doesn’t work, he will send people around. He will send men to kill your pets and fuck your wives, and it will never be over. So, that’s the message.” —Kendall to Sandy Furness and Stewy (Season 2, Episode 1)

23. “Is [this] OK? Because this feels like a Watergate sort of scenario, and I never studied that specifically, but I feel like, um, I’m correct in saying that they all got fucked.” —Greg to Tom, on shredding documents related to the cruise scandal (Season 1, Episode 5)

22. “The butter’s all fucked! You’re fuckwads, and you fucked it!” —Connor to the caterers of the RECNY Ball, on cold butter (Season 1, Episode 4)

21. “L to the motherfucking OG.” —the last lyric from Kendall’s “L to the OG” (Season 2, Episode 8)

20. “He made you a playground, and you think it’s a whole world. Well, va te faire foutre. Go out and see how you like it. Fuck off.” —Marcia Roy to Shiv (Season 1, Episode 9)

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19. “I said, ‘Gobbledy go fuck yourself!’” —Roman, as Dirk Turkey, to two amusement park guests (Season 2, Episode 4)

18. “You’re marrying a man fathoms beneath you because you don’t want to risk being betrayed. You’re a fucking coward.” —Logan to Shiv, in front of Tom (Season 1, Episode 7)

17. “We’re about to lose the company at the shareholder meet, all because you wouldn’t give our dad a timely fucking Evian.” —Roman to Kendall, after Logan collapses in front of investor Josh Aaronson (Season 3, Episode 4)

16. “Oh fuck. Fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck.” —Greg, after he’s implicated in the congressional hearing (Season 2, Episode 9)

15. “He ate my fucking chicken.” —Logan, on Tom eating his chicken (Season 2, Episode 10)

14. “You better be smelling your fucking armpit, Romulus.” —Logan, as Roman starts to raise his hand during the vote of no confidence (Season 1, Episode 6)

13. “Fuck it forever!” —Willa, agreeing to marry Connor (Season 3, Episode 9)

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12. “Jennifer and I are currently engaged in one of the all-time-great psychosexual expeditions. We’re like the Lewis and Clark of fucking.” —Kendall, explaining to Connor why an actress can’t return to America to be in Willa’s play (Season 2, Episode 8)

11. “‘Shit Show at the Fuck Factory’?” —the Roys reading Vaulter’s headline about them (Season 1, Episode 2)

10. “Let’s go see Hans Christian Anderfuck and see if he’s been telling us fucking fairy tales.” —Logan to Roman, on going to see Matsson (Season 3, Episode 9)

9. “I don’t mean to be insulting, but, having been around a bit … my hunch is that you’re going to get fucked. Because I’ve seen you get fucked a lot. And I’ve never seen Logan get fucked once.” —Tom to Kendall, after Kendall tries to turn him (Season 3, Episode 6)

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8. “Have a drink, have a drink, you beautiful Ichabod Crane fuck, you.” —Logan to Greg, celebrating the PGM deal (Season 2, Episode 5)

7. “How about Tom with some fucking Greg sprinkles?” —Roman, pitching who should take the fall for the cruise scandal (Season 2, Episode 10)

6. “I’m looking for pussy like a fucking techno Gatsby.” —Kendall to Cousin Greg, on himself (Season 2, Episode 2)

5. “Buckle up, fucklehead!” —Tom’s advice to Greg after Greg does a ton of cocaine (Season 1, Episode 8)

4. “Little Lord Fuckleroy [automated voice] has left the call.” —Kendall/an automated voice, when Kendall leaves a conference call with Waystar executives (Season 3, Episode 4)

3. “Forgive me, but are we talking to each other on the poop deck of a majestic schooner? Is the salty brine stinging my weather-beaten face? No? Then why the fuck are you wearing a pair of deck shoes, man?” —Tom to Greg (Season 1, Episode 3)

2. “Greg the motherfucking Egg. Look at you. You little Machiavellian fuck.” —Kendall to Greg, after Greg reveals that he made copies of the cruise scandal documents as leverage (Season 1, Episode 10)

1. “I fucking win. Oh, go on. Fuck off. You nosy fucking pedestrians.” —Logan to his children, after their plot to take him down fails (Season 3, Episode 9)